Showing posts with label ROFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ROFL. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

FWD:: Top 50 April Fools Day Pranks


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50. Borrow someone’s cell phone and change the language setting to a foreign language.

49. Change the language for Google on someone’s computer.

48. Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.

47. Swap the signs on the men’s and ladies’ rest rooms.

46. Hide scented air fresheners all over someone’s office.

45. Add food coloring to milk that comes in a cardboard container.

44. Add food coloring to the windshield washer fluid of someone’s car.

43. Switch around random keys on someone’s keyboard who isn’t a very good typist.

42. Switch the Push and Pull signs on a set of doors.

41. Hide food in a trash can and when someone comes by grab some and eat it.

40. Replace Oreo cream-filling with toothpaste and offer one to someone.

39. Dip the tips of someone’s cigarettes in Orajel so their lips will go numb.

38. Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.

37. Cup some water in your hand and pretend to sneeze on the back of someone’s head.

36. Take something from someone’s office and leave them a ransom note.

35. Add several odd appointments with alarms set to go off during the day to a co-worker’s Outlook
calendar.

34. Hide all of the desktop icons on someone’s computer and replace the monitor’s wallpaper with a screen-
shot of their desktop.

33. Put a “Please Use Other Door” sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.

32. Put a balloon on the tailpipe of a someone’s car so it will pop when they start their car.

31. Glue the headset of someone’s phone down to the cradle.

30. Take the door knob off a door and put it back on backwards, then lock it and leave the door open.

29. Put plastic wrap around the door frame of a commonly used door.

28. Cover a toilet seat with plastic wrap.

27. Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every
couple of seconds while pretending to pee.

26. Leave a note on someone’s car apologizing for an accident that never actually happened.

25. Glue all the eggs into the carton.

24. Hard boil all the eggs in the carton and place them back in the refrigerator.

23. Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won’t suds up.

22. Turn every setting in someone’s car to the maximum: the heat, the radio, the wipers, the seats, etc.

21. Place a small piece of Post-it note over the ball under someone’s computer mouse so that it won’t work.

20. Switch the handles on the refrigerator to the side that doesn’t open.

19. Conference call two people then don’t say anything, just listen.
18. Place a ‘house for sale’ ad in 
the newspaper for someone’s home.

17. Paint the tips of someone’s pen and pencil with clear nail polish so none of them work.

16. Hide a small radio in the ceiling tiles above someone’s desk and turn it on very softly.

15. Fill someone’s hair-dryer with baby powder.

14. Put marbles in the hubcaps of someone’s car.

13. Leave cryptic notes warning someone of an impending prank then do nothing all day.

12. Rubber band the sprayer on the kitchen sink into the “on” position.

11. Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a rest room to make it appear someone is
using it all day.

10. Pour vegetable oil on the exhaust of someone’s car so it will smoke when started up.

9. Hide an alarm clock in someone’s bedroomand set it for 3:00 a.m.

8. Remove the shower head and place a Lifesavers candy in it, then put the head back on.

7. Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then put the head back on.

6. Rearrange somebody’s drawers or file cabinets in a different order.

5. Tape magnets to the bottom of a cup, put it on the roof of your car and drive around.

4. Put food coloring in the hand soap dispenser.

3. Put an ad in the paper for a garage sale at someone’s house beginning at 6 a.m.

2. Buy some underwear, write a co-worker’s name in them, then leave them on the floor of the office bathroom.

1. Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone’s computer.

FWD:: Wireless Baby Locator


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With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

"May I see the new baby?" I asked

"Not yet," She said "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, "May I see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?"

"When he cries!" she told me.

"When he cries?" I asked puzzled. "Why do I have to wait until he cries?"

"Because I forgot where I put him ok?!?"

FWD:: Butt You Fix

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FWD:: Effective Marketing


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FWD:: Is This How You Fix Your Leaky Faucet?

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FWD:: Amazing Chair Tricks

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FWD:: Can You Catch The Worm??? Beware It's Tricky!!!


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FWD:: Smart Student


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The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."

FWD:: Is This Guy Crazy Or What?

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FWD:: I Can Use This Guy

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FWD:: Climbing Mt.Elephant

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FWD:: Scared Guy | Not For The Fainthearted

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FWD:: Tee - Mobile

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FWD:: Men Are Like Dogs In Many Ways


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1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Neither does any dishes.
7. Both fart shamelessly.
8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
9. Both like dominance games.
10. Both are suspicious of the postman.
11. Neither understands what you see in cats

FWD:: Doggie Fart Harmonica


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FWD:: Before And After Marriage


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-Before Marriage- 
Boy: I have been waiting for this day.
Girl: Do u want me to leave??
Boy: NO!!!! Girl: Do u love me?
Boy: Of Course Girl: Will u ever cheat on me??
Boy: Never in my life Girl: Will u ever kiss me?
Boy: Every chance i get Girl: Will u hit me?? Boy: Are u crazzy..!
Girl: Can i trust u?? 
Boy: Yes..!! 
Girl: Sweet Heart..!


-After Marriage- (now read from bottom to top)

FWD:: Origin Of Nintendo


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Monday, August 22, 2011

FWD:: Cure For Boredom


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In case of nothing to do

FWD:: Official Party


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John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
‘Louise,’ he moaned, ‘tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?’
‘Even worse,’ she said, her voice oozing scorn. ‘You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.’
‘He’s an idiot,’ John said. ‘Piss on him.’
‘You did’, came the reply. ‘And he fired you.’
‘Well, screw him!’ said John.
‘I did. You’re back to work on Monday.’

FWD:: Hardcore Metal


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metal!