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Monday, August 22, 2011
FWD:: Age Magic
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Please try this one, quite interesting…
259 x your age x 39 = ?
13837 x your age x 73 = ?
Just try it YOU will get an Interesting answer
FWD:: Real Definitions Of Words Spoken By Women
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- Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.
- That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.
- Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).
- Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
- Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.
- Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)
- Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)
- Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3.)
FWD:: Blonde Stewardess
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Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!”
“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked. “Why not?”
She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
FWD:: Official Party
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‘Louise,’ he moaned, ‘tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?’
‘Even worse,’ she said, her voice oozing scorn. ‘You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.’
‘He’s an idiot,’ John said. ‘Piss on him.’
‘You did’, came the reply. ‘And he fired you.’
‘Well, screw him!’ said John.
‘I did. You’re back to work on Monday.’
FWD:: Getting Caught By The Boss
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The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
“No way,” the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday.
FWD:: How Many Types.. ?
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The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration.'
FWD:: Football World Cup Memories
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World Cup Memories
World Cup 1930 |
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