Sunday, August 21, 2011
FWD:: My Very Long Career Life
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
So, I retired and I found I am perfect for the job!
FWD:: Winner Or Loser
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The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.
The Loser is always part of the problem.
The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Winner says, “Let me do it for you”;
The Loser says, “That is not my job.”
The Loser says, “That is not my job.”
The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.
The Winner says, “It may be difficult but it is possible”;
The Loser says, “It may be possible but it is too difficult.”
The Loser says, “It may be possible but it is too difficult.”
When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, “I was wrong”;
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”
A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises.
A Loser makes promises.
Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.
Losers have schemes.
Winners say, “I must do something”;
Losers say, “Something must be done.”
Losers say, “Something must be done.”
Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.
Losers are apart from the team.
Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain.
Losers see the pain.
Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.
Losers see problems.
Winners believe in win-win;
Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.
Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.
Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.
Losers see the past.
Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers.
Losers are like thermometers.
Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose.
Losers say what they choose.
Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words.
Losers use soft arguments but hard words.
Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.
Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: “Don’t do to others what you would not want them to do to you”;
Losers follow the philosophy, “Do it to others before they do it to you.”
Losers follow the philosophy, “Do it to others before they do it to you.”
Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.
Losers let it happen.
So stop being a loser and start to be a winner from today onward...
FWD:: Interesting Connection With God
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An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal.
The doctor says, ” Gary everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Gary replies, “God and I are tight.
He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on. When I’m done, *poof* the light goes off.”“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Gary ‘s wife.
“Marianne, he says, Gary is doing fine but I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom and when he’s done, *poof* the light goes off?”“OH MY GOD!” Marianne exclaims.
“He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!!!!”
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