checkout this FWD!
Monday, August 29, 2011
FWD:: Cunning Or Clever?
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There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."
FWD:: Extreme Temperature Levels
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- 50 - Miami residents turn on the heat
40 - COLLEGE STUDENTS STILL WEAR SHORTS
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Wisconsinites go swimming
35 - Italian cars don't start
32 - Water freezes
30 - You can see your breath
You plan your vacation to Australia
Wisconsinites put on T-shirts
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
25 - Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Wisconsinites eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
20 - You can hear your breath
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 - You plan a vacation in Mexico
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 - Too cold to snow
You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 - You plan your vacation in Houston
0 - American cars don't start
Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate
-5 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Wisconsinites' stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist
-10 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof
-15 - Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
Only ice chunks hit the bottom of the outhouse
-20 - You plan a two week hot bath
The Mighty Monongahela freezes
Japanese cars don't start
-25 - Californians disappear
Wisconsinites button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South
-30 - Congressional hot air freezes
-50 - Hell freezes over
Polar bears move south
-65 -All major universities are still open and requiring students to attend class! Remember the good old elementary school Days???
FWD:: Golden Nuggets
Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble,
but it is a”steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.
but it is a”steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.
Do you know why a Car’s WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small?
Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on.
Friendship is like a BOOK.
It takes few seconds to burn,
but it takes years to write.
All things in life are temporary.
If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever.
If going wrong, don’t worry,they can’t last long either.
OldFriends are Gold!
New Friends are Diamond!
If you get a Diamond,
don’t forget the Gold!
Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
Often when we lose hope and think this is the end,
GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart,
it’s just a bend, not the end!
When GOD solves your problems,
you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems
HE has faith in your abilities.
When you pray for others,
God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy,
remember that someone has prayed for you.
WORRYING does not take away tomorrows’ TROUBLES,
it takes away todays’ PEACE.
checkout this FWD!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
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